I talked to her this morning and I was really talking to my mom for the first time in a long time. We talked about our earliest memories. She said that she doesn't have a distinct early memory, but her mother is always there when she tries to think back.
There were some early memories of a yellow dress, "Patty got a pink one, but mine was yellow" and the midwife coming to deliver the twins. "I think there might be two babies." But most of my early memories are just feelings. She said, "I can close my eyes and hear my mother singing.
It got me thinking about those early life experiences. My kids don't remember a lot of their early childhoods. I don't remember a lot of my early childhood. But we all know that those early experiences matter. Attachment disorders demonstrate that whether you can articulate the memory or not, those early experiences dictate a lot about how you feel about yourself and others throughout your life.
What if it’s the same with late life? So what if mom can't remember what day it is or when I was last at her house. Does she feel that I love her? I hope so. I try to show her affection as much as possible. I hug on her and kiss her. I dance with her and sing to her—just like I did with my kids when they were little. They don't remember it, but they know I love them. I am hoping it works that way with mom too.